Breast Cancer. Making a Will, recovering from surgery and getting on the Cancer Treadmill .

8th August 2013. I am off sick, long term sick, for the first time in my NHS career.

My recovery from the surgery was good. I felt better than I had for a long time and slept well as the pain in my breast; that had been keeping me awake, was gone.
My first view of the scar was a bit of a shock, the surgeon had cut me from my arm pit to below my breast, when I removed the dressing I could see that the incision was just under 6 inches long. I know why he did this as from the front you can not see that I have had any thing done so from a cosmetic point of view it is a very good job.
I was given a leaflet about exercises to do after surgery, http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/upload/pdf/bcc_exercises06_web_0.pdf
and started to do these on day One after the operation. As soon as I felt able, I started to walk the dogs daily, at least a 3 Km walk.
I also sorted something out that should have been done ages ago, I made an appointment with a solicitor to get advice about Wills. It sounds very morbid, but it is something that needed sorting out. 19 August 2013. Visit to the local Solicitor. I chose this solicitor as he was connected to one on my colleagues. However this was a mistake as much to my shock the man was a total Chauvinist who was  not interest in my wishes, his only interest was in advising me to make sure I documented the type of funeral arrangements I wanted in my Will as 'this is what concerns most people'....NO!!! What concerned me was that my children get the bits of my estate that they are entitled to. All I was asking was that any assets my husband and I had, including my NHS pension, be protected upon my death. so that if my husband remarried his new spouse or any new children would have no claim on my 1/2 of 'the estate'.
I made another appointment with a more professional ( and coincidently Female Solicitor) who has produced the Will I wanted, it has all sorts of clauses in it, but the thing is, it expresses my wishes, all be it that some of them may sound odd. And that's what I think a Will should do, express the wishes of the dead person.
For my recovery, I bathed using Tea Tree and Lavender Essential oil each day. I rubbed Bio Oil into my wound each day. I drank Jason Vale Juices every day, especially the Green one with the Avocado in it. Despite its odd appearance it is very nice! I took my Holland & Barret 'Super One Formula and I walked the dogs.

23 August 2013. I am back at the breast care unit to see the surgeon. The waiting room has quite a few people with out hair in it, they have stylish scarves on. There is also a Man in the waiting area, I have to quietly inform my Husband that Men get Breast Cancer as well as Women.
the Surgeon is pleased with my wound. He tells me that the breast Cancer was a fast growing one. That in the time from my first appointment on 8th June 2013 to the 7th August 2013 it had gone through the duct so it was now a ' Grade 3, Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, with a high nuclear grade ', but the really good news was that the 3 Lymph nodes that had been removed did not have any cancer in them, and showed 'no evidence of metastasis'. He informs me that the Cancer has no Oestrogen receptors, no Herceptin receptors and is very, very weakly receptive to Progesterone. So almost a triple negative breast cancer. He advises me that my case has been discussed at the multidisciplinary meeting and I will be seeing the Oncologist and the radiologist in due course......I am on the Cancer Treadmill.

Breast Cancer. The day of the Sentinal Node Scan, Sentinal Node Biopsy and Wide Local Exicision or Lumpectomy.

7th August 2013. Nil by mouth from 00.00.
At 10.00 I am in the Department of Nuclear Medicine for my Sentinel Node Scan.  I am called in and advised that dye will be injected into my right nipple, I will then be asked to wait 20 mins or so, to allow the dye to move, then come back in for the scan.
The radiographer wears lead gloves and a lead apron and the dye is in its own small lead case. OK, so this stuff is going into my body!
I hardly feel a thing as the dye goes in and I am told I can get dressed and wait in the waiting room, or go to Costa if I want, I opt for the latter. As my operation is not until the afternoon I can drink and I really need a cup of tea. I am just about to leave when an agitated radiographer calls me back. It seems the reason I did not feel anything is due to the face that nothing went in! The syringe was faulty. I strip off again, lay on the scanning machine again, see the lead gloves again, and I feel the dye going in this time. Its not painful, just a sharp sting. This time they want to check the dye is in so start to scan straight away.
'This wont take long', the young radiographer says, 'Your Lymph moves really fast, it will only take about 15 mins'. As I lay there, I wonder if having fast moving Lymph is good or bad when you have cancer??????
The scan was over by 11.00am. I walked from the x-ray department to the Day Surgery Unit and checked in at the reception. It was a long wait.
At 12.30 I was called in and saw a nurse, she did my basic observations and showed me where to get changed and wait. I then saw the consultant Anaesthetist, he was a colleague of mine from the Maternity Unit, we have worked together a lot up to now! It seemed today was a good day to have an operation as all the new doctors started work today, and they were on their Trust Induction day. So the list today was staffed by Consultants! That was lucky!
I then waited in the small room again, until I was called to see the Consultant Surgeon. This was the first time I had actually met 'my' surgeon. He was lovely and explained what he would do, checked my consent form and said 'lets get on with it then!'.
With that a nurse led me to the theatre.
I must have been fast asleep, because as I was woken up from the general anaesthetic  I really thought I was at home in my bed, it was a shock to open my eyes and see the theatre recovery area. Once I had opened my eyes and responded to the ODAs questions I was wheeled down to the Day Unit.
At this point I reached for my right breast, just to check it was there, it was, I went back to sleep. As I lay in the day unit in my drugged state, many Theatre Nurses and ODPs who were passing saw me and came over to chat, I don't think I made much sense.
The day unit has rules, you have to have a drink and eat at least a biscuit before they will let you go home. I was struggling to wake up, it took me over 90 mins to eat the biscuit as I slowly emerged from the general aesthetic. I was in a Morphine induced haze as I struggled to drink tea.
As the last patient in the day unit I got up to go to the bathroom, I managed to do it, but vomited the tea and biscuit up at the same time! I did not tell any one as I wanted to go home. Who wants to stay overnight in hospital, its hot, noisy, and who can sleep with a plastic covered bed and  plastic pillows? I was going home!  I stripped my bed, with its vomited on sheets, I found the sluice and deposited the sheets into the linen skip. The Nurse was very impressed with my housekeeping efforts and ran through a long list of dos and don'ts and finally at 20.00 I got into my car and my husband drove me home to my own bed.
Now just the wait for the results and the treatment plan.

Breast Cancer. I get the results of the scan and breast tissue biopsy.

Florida 2013..what am I eating?

Back from holiday;

7th July 2013, I pick up the pile of mail that greets us on our return from Florida, there is an appointment to see the breast surgeon on the 12th July 2013. So I know some thing is not correct! I warn my husband.
8th July 2013, 07.30. I am at work. Having been away for two weeks my mail box is full, it will take two weeks to clear it all! So I make a start.
08.45, As I work in the hospital where I am being treated I know that The Breast Care Team should be in the office by now, I bleep the Consultant Breast Care Nurse using the hospital bleep system.
09.45, no response from my bleep. I decide to walk over to the Breast Unit. It is a long walk of over 10 minutes as my office and the Breast Care Unit are at opposite ends of the hospital. Its a beautiful day so I enjoy the walk in the sun.
When I get to the reception desk, the consultant nurse is there, she smiles and says 'I got your bleep and was just ringing you, come into my office'. I do so, I sit on the chair as instructed. Following the introductions and small talk, how was your holiday etc, she gets down to the nitty gritty;
'Well!' she says, and smiles ....'its not'

..........I relax thank goodness its not Cancer, my Husband was correct..........

'it's not Good news'..............'It is breast cancer'.

My mind cant keep up. My brain says No! that cant be correct you just said 'its not'. I must look puzzled, as she says again, 'the biopsy shows it is Cancer'.

OK, my first words are 'I am not having Chemotherapy, as it makes well people ill'. She smiles, 'We are not any where near that point, I am sure that the Cancer is HRT related. They will do a lumpectomy, then radiotherapy then you will go on Tamoxifen'. I relax, that sounds OK, I can do that. Things have obviously moved on since I did my nurse training, well it was a long time ago! I am not a nurse now, I am a Midwife, what do I know about modern breast cancer treatment? Nothing, I understand the jargon, but that's it.
She then gives me some more results from the Scan/ Biopsy findings; It is Ductal Carcinoma in situ (DCIS) so not invasive, it is small, Stage One as its less than 2cm. it is Grade 2, so medium growing. Due to this I will need surgery. This will be 'breast conserving surgery', a wide local excision or lumpectomy and some Lymph Glands will have to come out. Then it will be radiotherapy and Tamoxifen. OK! so to me that all sounds doable, I can cope with it, in fact if your going to have Breast Cancer at all this sound like the stage to catch it at and I am not worried.
I thank her, she tells me I will get an appointment through the post to see the Surgeon and I go back to my office and back to work.
After work I sit in the garden, enjoying the sun, reading a book, planning our next holiday to South Africa in October, after all I will be better by then?
My husband comes home, I give him the news, saying is not so bad at least I don't have to have Chemotherapy, he doesn't say much.
The worst bit comes over the next week as I inform my family, friends and work colleagues about the news. I get sick of saying it 'I have breast cancer' and people react in many different ways. Luckily as I am in the health care profession most of my colleagues are experts in dealing with bad news and are very caring people.
The appointment to see the surgeon arrives the in the next days post, its for Friday 12th July, but I know that already thanks to the letter at home. 

Breast Cancer. The Consultant Breast Care Nurse and my first appointment.

18th June 2013, The Breast Care Unit.
The breast care unit at my local hospital is now a purpose built building, no longer part of the main out patients department as it was in 2008. It is a very nice department, I go in and meet the friendly  Consultant Breast Care Nurse. She takes my history;
I am 55 years old, do not smoke ( never have), have two daughters and breast fed then both for a long time. There is no family history of breast cancer. My BMI is 22. I have taken the pill in the past and am taking HRT now. I am fit and healthy for my age and she tells me in the 'low risk' group.....but she pulls a face at the word HRT.
She then gets a sheet of paper with a 'breast map' on it. Examines my breasts, she can feel the lump in the right breast at 9 O'clock, but whilst I say its a pea size lump, she thinks its more tubular in shape. Its is painful and I jump when it is palpated. She draws the findings on the breast map.
I move along the corridor to a room where I have a Mammogram. This is a very thorough examination as the Radiographer locates the lump with a special probe. But it is not unpleasant or painful. I don't understand why all the Mammograms are all so different?
The Consultant Breast Care Nurse calls me in to her office, the Mammogram does not show anything on it. But she is concerned as the lump is palpable and would like me to have a Scan. I go to another room for the scan.
The Doctor performing the scan can see the lump, but the out lines of it are 'poorly defined', so she asks if she can to do a Punch Biopsy. I consent. Lignocaine is injected into the area to numb the pain, then using a thick trocar needle she takes a few samples of the breast tissue. They look like worms in a pot. This procedure sounds worse than the Fine Needle Biopsy I had in 2008, but thanks to the lignocaine it was less painful than that was.
The Consultant Breast Nurse calls me back into her office to tell me that:
The Mammogram does not show anything, but the lump can be seen on scan and the Doctor performing the scan 'is undecided as to what it looks like'. The results of the biopsy will be back on Friday PM and how do I want to get the results. I explain that there is a problem with the date as I will be on a Virgin plane, with my family on the Friday. Bound for Orlando. She tells me that I can have the results sent to me by text? I decline, I don't want to know the results by Text as  its not going to make any difference to my plans, in that I won't be cancelling my holiday if it is Cancer........to late I will be on my way! and anyway it will not make a difference to any treatment plan or surgery schedule even if it is Cancer. I decide I will pop over on Monday 8th of July, when I am back at work and get the results then.
I tell her I have not told any one in my family, asking what she thinks I should do? She kindly advises me that I should let my husband know I have had the tests as it may be a shock for him if the result is Cancer, this is the right decision and I do it when I get home that evening. He seems to take the news well, but is totally convinced that it will be OK and cant possibly be Cancer..........I know it is denial.

I ask him not to tell the rest of the family as I don't want it to be the subject of discussion for the holiday.